He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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