Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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