i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
