no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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