did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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