Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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