the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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