Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i will never coherently bang her
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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