guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
