She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
