Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
