I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize