I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.