I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.