All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your shirt... Was in my pants