Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.