This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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