and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
