your room smells of hookers.
And success
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
