Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
