As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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