i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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