so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
