Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
