if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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