I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
