I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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