You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it's like heaven, but drunker
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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