So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think my vagina is haunted
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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