Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
