OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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