And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
