my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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