am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
false alarm. still invincible.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
