Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
