i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
