I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
