I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
