Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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