btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
