I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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