god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
