Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize