It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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