The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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