I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
