a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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