Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
