evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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