remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
