"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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