Soap is not a condiment
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
