I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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