Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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