Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
