I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
