margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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