Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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