Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
