yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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