Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
