I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
