if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
