your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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