the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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