everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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